Dammit! I find it astonishing how completely blind to my own aspects of shadow I can be one minute, then a mirror is held up and WHAM! there it is, obvious, awkward, and clear as a bell the next. I see it and think "Jesus! How did I not see that?!! How did I not see that's what was driving me?! How could I be so blind?!"
But alas, that's why they call it "shadow". So right about now I'm feeling humbled and embarrassed and dreading facing up and owning my s**t, as they say. I'm grateful for the clarity, but oh how I hate the awkwardness I feel. It's sort of an internal cringe. I've been here before, though, and I know it passes.
After all is said and done, I will be wiser, truer, and more humble. Not a bad way to end that chapter. Not bad at all.