Me Me Me Me Me

My body woke naturally at 6:07 a.m., the fan above me whirring in a quiet purr. I lay there and stretched, a big grin spreading across my face. I could smell the coffee Angie made, freshly brewed in the kitchen. Pulling on a pair of soft, cut-off sweat pants, I let my nose lead the way. The sound of the glass pot as I pulled it from it's carriage, the warm liquid as it filled my cup, mmmmmmmmm. Just the right amount of half and half. No fake powder shit or smells of hazelnut intruding my senses. Just a good, full-bodied brew. I carry my mug out onto the balcony. Standing, I can only see a small portion of the water above the roof tops and palm trees. Still, I know it's there. I can hear it; that constant sound of the waves against the shore.

I am at the beach with three other women. Five glorious nights in a pastel mermaid and fish decorated condo. I have a room and a bathroom to myself. Last night, I climbed into bed with my lap top and brought up Netflicks. Ear buds in, big grin on my face, I would watch anything I wanted. No one to decide with. It was all about me. I felt sneaky. Deliciously, decadently sneaky. A guilty pleasure. May not sound like much to you, but this is how it felt to me. And in that it told me just how badly I needed this time. No agenda. No to-do list. Nothing to take care of. Just do whatever I want.

Angie and I speak in low tones to each other, while my daughter and Megan sleep in. I stand at the railing looking out over the well manicured pool area. Just the tiniest bit of blue peeks out over the spot of ocean view I am afforded. The rest is all dark gray. Directly above me is a heavy, thick cloud. Just as I sit down, it comes. First a light spray, then full shower. We scramble to get the towels inside, our lap tops tucked under our arms. Then as soon as it's started, it's gone.

Whoever you are reading this right now, create some decadently agenda-free time for yourself today.  No more excuses. None of that, "I don't have time" bullshit. Make the time. It doesn't have to be a beach trip. It could be a quiet moment as the sun goes down in your back yard. Whatever it may look like, carve out that time for you. You eat, you sleep, you give your body breath. This is vital too. Don't wait for someone else to give it to you. Make yourself that important. I promise you, it will pay off positive.

J.